Football slickness
My high school is having a reunion for alumni who played in the football team. I can’t make it, but they asked for humorous stories so I contributed this one: One season I decided to join the football team to see what that was like, even though I knew nothing …
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Soapy gifts
Yesterday I gave two talks at a local college. After the sessions, the administration kindly gave me a gift bag. As I was leaving, I went to the bathroom, before getting in the car. I put the bag down to wash my hands when I heard a noise. I realized …
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Odd bathroom
I’d have thought it’d be hard to top the Secret Service close-call affair the same day, but I did. When at Reagan National Airport, about to board my flight back home, I went to the bathroom. I rushed into the bathroom. I walked past the stalls looking for the urinals, …
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Secret Service close-call
Yesterday, oddly, I was at the White House for a convening on educational games. Of course, it was very cool to be there. We were a group of about 40 people in a conference room. The previous night, dinner had started at 9pm, so I was dazed and confused… At …
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Lost like a wife with no GPS
Coming back from work, Allison was less than 5 minutes away from our home when she decided to avoid a little traffic by making a right turn a block earlier than usual and finding a way around the busy intersection. She got soooo lost, and had such GPS problems, that …
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In a sharp bind
I didn’t have a lot of time to shower and get ready before a keynote I was giving in an hour. I got out of the shower and went to shave. The razor cartridge had become detached from the razor, and in my rush and impatience, I forced it and …
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Bread cubes anyone?
I’ve always liked compressing bread slices into cubes before eating them. Has anyone noticed they test better that way? p.s.: removing the crust first, then cubifying, is the way to go. p.p.s.: and my wife says I don’t cook…
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Scary freckle
I have lots of freckles, so when I have a physical or go see a dermatologist, they stare at my skin in amazement, take a step back as if I were radioactive, and educate me on what cancerous skin marks look like, and tell me to regularly monitor my spots. …
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Does your spouse know your name? Mine doesn’t.
Today Allison was going to buy tickets for us to go to NY for the holidays, but she instead put the tickets on hold. The reason she didn’t purchase the tickets is that she wasn’t sure what my name is! True story. (the reason Allison doesn’t know my name is …
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Locker room sandwiches
Before going to work out at the pool, I made two sandwiches and took them with me so I would eat them in the car on the way back from the pool. I meant to leave them in the car, but when I got to the locker room, I realized …
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